Soni's Photos

hateful thoughts of destruction
undermining every last moral in my soul
wanting to break free, but feeling so much resentment
not wanting to go on, to push forward..
hating what may lie ahead of me
and beyond those broken walls
turning the plate upside down letting my heart fade elsewhere
searching out that intimate manipulation
that blurrs my sense of reasoning
my mind burns with those thoughts
craving what is not real
feeding myself with "I don't cares"
only bringing scolding tears again
burning like acid on my skin
treacherous words sting like pins on my skin
my ears burning from murmuring deseiver's
what gives..why is the world and so many in it, so cruel
so much pain and hurt rolls beyond our grasp
making us watchful like hawks for that person we fear
every hurt we receive builds layers on that invisible barrier
keeping out intruders and also those we love   
by soni

Life is pretty unbearable right now.  Finding it hard to cope.  I just want to lay my head down and fall asleep. 

Blessings:
Anything that gives happiness
Good fortune
Biblical: God's undeserved gifts and favors given out of his love and kindess.
Personal: unexpected joys or provisions that benefit you or your loved ones.

Sometimes blessings can go unnoticed.  We tend to put them in the closet and on focus the negatives in our lives.  Why did this happen or why is this happening to me. Maybe we need to take a deeper look at what we are blessed with..pull those blessings out and start looking at the more positive things in our lives. 

God's blessings are pleasures or advantages for the purpose of bringing goodness into your life.  They have another purpose too: to nudge you to the place he wants you to be, in attitude or action.  You may not understand the full value when you first recieve them.  It is hard to stay focused on the blessings God is giving us and the blessings we want. 

Some blessings could be direct results of obedience to God, and some blessings happen when you share the gospel with someone.

The apostle Paul asked Godo 3 times for his "thorn in the side" to be remved.  God told him the thorn was a blessing in disquese, to keep him from becoming conceited.
hmmm.. Something to ponder on.

Many flowers open to the sun, but only one follows him constantly.  Heart, be thou the sunflower, no only open to receive God's blessing, but constant in looking to him.
Jean Paul Richter

still working on it.................

If someone insults you, God wants you to smile.  If someone stomps on you even seventy times seven, God asks you to forgive.  But you're angry because you have been wronged.  Why can't you indulge in angry bashing to even the score?  It helps to consider the price.

Anger is like a clogged artery in one's relationship with God and people.  Anger binges rarely accomplish God's purpose in your life or theirs.  Yet anger is a weapon for good or evil. 

Some anger is sinful, some is not.  But all anger needs to be purified by allowing God to search the wounded heart for half-truths, hidden motives, and shared blame.  Blindness hampers the angry one's insight.

Here are a couple tests you can give yourself: do you get angry most often about personal slights or over injustices against others?  Would your family members call you an angry person?  That is, would they say that you can't control your temper, that you tend to argue all the time, and that you lash out at the smallest criticism?  The Bible also distinguishes between feelings of anger and acting them out.  Anger range from simple annoyance to vexed to the point verbal and physical abuse.  And the Word of God challenges you that one day  is long enough to indulge this emotion.

Ask yourself, "Why am I so angry?"  Anger dims by pleading, "Lord, please change me!" 

Give yourself time to work through the trying affront and hand it over to God.  Anger does not dissipate overnight.

"Our anger can be a tremendous gift, if we dare to look at the feelings it covers up..the fears, hurts, resentments, and self-protective motives we work hard to keep out of sight, and to emerge as changed people."
Larry Crabb

"In your anger do not sin:  Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold."
Ephesians 4:26-27

 You feel a need for acceptance.  You sense it's a key to freedom to be yourself.

Acceptance happens when you know that God loves you as you are and you discover the person he created you to be.  From that base, you can reach out to others and not be overly concerned with their perceived response to you.  It's important to know the real you and live that self in honesty and humility before others, whatever their reaction.

We will never grow in our relationship with God if we don't have the gumption to become singleminded, bent on pleasing God and only God.
Michele Halseide

We [people-pleasers] may even be tempted to fake our spirituality, which impresses everyone but God.
Michele Halseide

Whether we live in the body or move out of it, our goal is to be pleasing to Him.
2 Corinthians 5:9